People, the stories keep rolling in.
After reading a Tale of Two Thumbs, one our readers, Ms. Z, asked me to share her story. Like poor Saffron, she also had a run in with a teeny tiny cock recently, although she didn’t make it out of the situation unscathed.
Ms. Z and Rudy met through a mutual friend she had hounded for an introduction at a birthday party. According to Ms. Z, Rudy was hot – cute, tall and real buff, just the way she liked her men. Once they finally connected sparks started flying and before the end of the night they had scheduled their first date.
The first date was so good they quickly scheduled their second, and then their third. They continued dating at a frenetic pace, racking up 12 dates in a three and a half week period. Despite this, to Ms. Z’s dismay Rudy was not letting her anywhere near his goods (Sound familiar folks?). She could tell he was into her as much as she was into him, but whenever they got close to doing the horizontal mambo he would give her this line, ‘I really like you and think we should wait until we get to know each other better.’ At first Ms. Z thought it was sweet, that she’d met a real prince so to speak. But as they edged their way to the five week mark Ms. Z got real frustrated. She wanted to know what Rudy was packing and she was determined to find out sooner than later.
As luck would have it Rudy cancelled their plans to see a movie one evening and asked her to come over to his place instead because his dog was sick – he didn’t want to leave the poor creature alone. Ms. Z cheerfully agreed to be there by eight and then started plotting. She was going to hit Rudy with everything she had that night and him into bed, come hell or high water.
An eager Ms. Z arrived at Rudy’s place at 7:55 pm and knocked on his door.
‘Hi Z, come on in,’ Rudy said, kissing her cheek as she passed him. ‘Thanks for being so good about not seeing the movie.’
‘No problem,’ Ms. Z said, placing her purse on his front table and stepping out her high heels.
‘Oh, let me take your coat,’ Rudy said, reaching for a hanger in the closet.
Ms. Z, slowly undid her trench coat, revealing the fiery red merry widow ensemble (for all the boys and any girl not in the know – that’s Moulin rouge style lingerie) she was wearing. When Ms. Z, heard Rudy’s breath catch in his throat she quickly moved into action. She stepped forward, pressed her body into his, and kissed him hard. Rudy didn’t know what hit him. All his ‘we should wait until we get to know each other’ talk went out the window when he saw her decked out in her finest lingerie.
According to Ms. Z. these two are packing a whole lot more than Rudy was
Soon they were on the couch and clothing (mostly his) was being removed. Ms. Z, was excited, as she gleefully pulled his boxer briefs off. But when she looked down to see the prize she’d worked so hard to get, all her lustful exuberance left the building. Rudy’s erect dick was about ⅔ the size of an uncooked hot dog. Just looking at it made Ms. Z feel nauseous. I so can’t do this.
By this time, Rudy, had noticed the disappointed look on her face. But unlike our man Colin, he was going to get his no matter what. ‘Stroke me baby,’ he said as he wrapped her hand around his dick.
Ms. Z took a deep breath, hoping to ease her nausea (to no avail), and got to stroking. What else could the poor girl do? Unfortunately, since she was used to much larger ‘joysticks’ his dick kept slipping out of her hand. That’s when Rudy decided to help her out by wrapping his large hand over hers to get the job done. As he moved her hand up and down on his shaft (hmmm…can we call something that small a shaft?) he closed his eyes, which prevented him from seeing the unmasked terror in Ms. Z’s eyes.
Lucky for Ms. Z he started moaning and grinding his hips five minutes after her ordeal began, and came within seconds after that. When he was done, he opened his eyes and smiled at her.
‘Thanks babe, that was soooo good,’ he said, as he wiped her hand off with a tissue. ‘Let me get up and go to the bathroom for a minute.’
Ms. Z, stood up and let Rudy get up off the couch. When he did he pulled her close and kissed her. ‘I’m going to clean myself up and be right back. I’ll catch you next time, okay?’
Ms. Z, forced a smile and nodded. ‘No problem.’
Rudy grinned, kissed her again and then disappeared into the bathroom.
As for our Ms. Z, she was out of there before the water started running.
In closing, dear sisters I implore you not to ignore the early warning signs that your future bed mate may be the owner of a VSD (very small dick). Beware of any and all men who won’t allow you to assess (i.e. see or touch) their jewels early in the game.